The rulebook.
Maybe someone sat you down and told you exactly how to behave to be loved, accepted and safe. Or maybe nobody said a word. But either way you picked up the ideas. Ideas on what it would take to be a good girl. Over time those ideas became your programming. And inside that programming live the rules you have been following ever since.
This is called Good Girl Programming. It is invisible, unspoken and incredibly powerful. The rules live inside the programming and most women follow them their entire lives without ever knowing they are there.
Sound familiar?
You feel guilty for wanting more. You feel responsible for everyone else's emotions. You feel selfish for putting yourself first. You feel afraid to disappoint anyone. You feel like you have to keep the peace no matter what it costs you. You feel like saying no makes you a bad person. You feel like your needs are too much. You feel anxious when someone is upset with you. You feel like you have to earn your place in every room. You feel like who you really are is just a little too much for everyone.
These rules are costing you.
They are costing you your voice. Your choices. Your relationships. Your ambition. Your peace. Every time you go quiet about what you really think, every time you say yes when you mean no, every time you make yourself smaller so someone else feels comfortable, you pay a price. The price is you.
And this is just the beginning.
Every woman's list of rules is different including yours. Because your rules were built from your specific life. Your family. Your experiences. The people who raised you. The things that happened to you. The moments where you learned what was safe and what was not.
Some of your most powerful rules have never even been named out loud. They just feel like you. Like the way you have always been.
But they are not you. They are your programming.
Every week I send one rule. With an explanation of what it is, where it came from and how it quietly shows up in your life. The more rules you can see the easier it becomes to recognize your own.
Curious which rules are running your life? Start here.
Fire the Good Girl.™